Wood could be dangerous

Over the weekend, I decided to trim some of the low branches off the trees in the backyard. This resulted in far more branches littering the ground than I had anticipated. I went looking for some lawn bags and my work gloves, but this seems to have been the official weekend of “I can’t find a single damn thing I look for”, nary a lawn bag was found and my super-comfortable, totally broken-in work gloves seem to have gone missing.

This displeased me.

Mrs. Doogs was much less perturbed.

“Why can’t you just use trash bags?” she asked.

Now, I don’t know, maybe she didn’t stop to think it through. God knows she has enough on her mind these days. But to me, this one’s obvious. You don’t put a bunch of sharp, pointy objects in a trash bag. Just…bad idea all around.

Next up, she asked why I needed gloves.

“Spiders, scorpions, splinters…”

This didn’t really persuade her to the dire need for gloves, and as I thought it over, yeah it did seem a little wussish. I mean, work gloves, for shoving branches into lawn bags?

So tonight, after I acquired the requisite lawn bags, I started stuffing them with branches sans gloves.

And proceeded to jam a massive splinter right up under my fingernail.

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