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That Thing With the Spider

September 14, 2006

About two weeks ago now, I noticed an itching sensation on my left hip.  Perfect, another bug bite.  I seem to have a knack for attracting insects and arachnids.  But this bite…this one is really annoying because it sits right on the seamline.  At night, it keeps me awake, reminding me of its presence every time I roll over.

By Friday, I am convinced it is a spider bite.  I have another one on my thigh, but the one on my hip is a whole different order of annoying.  I start going through all the typical remedies, but nothing helps.  On Saturday, I endure agony on the succession of flights from Austin to Vancouver, and pass another mostly sleepless night cursing spiders.

Sunday morning my parents and I set out to explore Vancouver, but the morning’s walk turns sour when the damn bite starts to send shooting pains up and down my leg with every step.  It is red, angry, and swollen by this point.  Good time to watch TV.

Later that night, after dinner, I head to the bathroom to change out bandages and see that the bite is still red, angry, and swollen, but that it is also turning black.  Good time to head to the emergency room and experience Canada’s healthcare firsthand.

After a brief wait during which I was kept entertained by the crazy people wandering the halls and my dad’s reaction to them, I was taken back to "Emergency Fast Track" and shown to a bed.  I don’t know what they did, exactly, only that it involved freezing and draining, and some sort of wonderous intravaneous painkiller, but they had me in and out the door in about an hour (take that, Lenscrafters!), albeit with orders to come back for the next two days for continued antibiotic IV treatments.

And that is pretty much what happened.  I’m still not certain what bit me.  My guess is that it was probably a wolf spider, considering that we do have them in the yard, and that it got irritated and ultimately infected because of where it was (right on the seamline).    Whatever the case, I still have a nice crater in my leg that I’m having to cleanout and bandage every day, and I’m damn sick of doing so.  The upside…at least it’ll leave a pretty cool scar that I will probably be able to pass off as a bullet wound.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. September 14, 2006 4:29 pm

    AWESOME! Some people call them scars, I call them trophies!

  2. September 21, 2006 11:40 am

    I think it was a chinchilla. Probably one named Edgar.

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