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May 20, 2006

"Just wait until you have kids…"

Jamie and I hear this pretty much any time a discussion turns toward our four dogs.

Yes, thank you.  We realize that dogs are different than children.  We realize that you cannot stick your child into a kennel and leave the house for hours on end without consequences.  We realize that we will never have to send our dogs to college, and I am well aware that I will never have to put the fear of God into Maggie and Millie’s dates.

We know this.  And besides, there are aspects to dog ownership that are assuredly worse than having children.

Case in point: vomoop.

Vomoop is, quite simply, the unholy mixture of vomit and poop.  It is created when a dog (let us call her "Millie"), eats a load of poop in the backyard, gets it halfway digested, and then vomits it back up on your bedroom carpet.

I think the next time somebody tells me to "just wait until I have kids", I’m going to be thankful that their kid doesn’t scarf his/her own feces and then spew it back up a few hours later for them to clean up. 

4 Comments leave one →
  1. May 20, 2006 10:45 pm

    Whoa….wait a minute. Until you have had to deal with projectile vomiting, diarrhea with the most horrific smell imaginable, have watched you son poop with such force that not only does it get all over you, somehow it hits the mini blinds and the screen on the window 2 feet behind you…..I’ll take the Vomoop.

    And I’m still not sure if my kids have not eaten their own poop at one time. Shebly used to think it was clay.

  2. Tim permalink
    May 21, 2006 2:47 pm

    The only reason kids don’t eat their poop more often is that early on they aren’t coordinated enough figure out how to do it.

    Let’s see … we’ll put aside the constant projectile vomiting. Do this, and we’re even: put a diaper on your dogs, and every time they poop, wipe the dog’s ass until it’s clean.

  3. May 23, 2006 12:58 am

    That is funny! I think I just pee’ed in my pants laughing!

  4. Becca permalink
    October 28, 2008 11:57 am

    Seymour did this once.

    In my bed.


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