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Falling Tree, Hidden Neighbor

May 1, 2005

Saturday afternoon, Mrs. Doogs and I made what I reckon to be our 4,127th trip out to the new house.  We’re out there all the time, looking for new developments the way that news junkies prowl the internet, checking all the blogs and news sites for a new post, or an updated story.

For some lenght of time, these trips would be in vain – weeks would pass where no work appeared to have been done.  Recently, however, the case has been the opposite.  Every new visit yields some development – a graded yard, the installation of sprinklers, the presence of our real front door, the arrival of sod…or the theft of our bricks.

Saturday’s trip may have been the strangest yet, however. 

Pulling up in front of our house, we were shocked to see that one of our trees had fallen over.  Not a branch, but the whole friggin’ tree.  I would blame the future neighbor, but in this case the grading of the yard, the installation of the sprinkler system, and a hard north wind seem to be the culprits.  At least it was the smallest of the trees out front.

Perhaps more random than the collapsed tree, however, was the behavior of our future neighbor.  As we sat in the Pilot, staring at the unlikely sight of the horizontal tree, his front door opened and he emerged with his daughter.  Or maybe she was his niece – her disposition seemed altogether too sunny for her to be his progeny.  But I digress.  He stepped out onto his front porch and, spotting us, did about the lamest thing that a human being can do.

He hid behind his column.

Jamie and I both looked at each other.  Did we really just see him duck behind the column to hide from us?  The niece/daughter was just as confused – from where we watched she seemed to be asking something along the lines of "what are you doing hiding behind the column, idiot?"

I’ve had my share of people driving by and staring at my house in the last two months.  When the house was on the market, people would pass by slowly and gawk, or step out to take a flyer.  The times that I happened to be outside, sure, I might have ducked into the garage a time or two, acting intent on finding some tool or piece of yard equipment.  Othertimes, I’d just continue on doing what I was doing.  But I never once hid.

So that settles it, then.  Our future neighbor has complained about a retaining wall angling ever so slightly onto a useless side of his property.  He has stolen our bricks and used them to build planters in his front yard.  And now, he has hidden from us. 

I think it is time that he is officially labelled a lame-o (I would use stronger language, but you know, the kids…).

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One Comment leave one →
  1. May 4, 2005 4:19 pm

    geez sounds like something that would happen on Curb Your Enthusiasm … what a spazmo

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