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Everything but the Kitchen Sink

September 15, 2004

Jamie and I are at work prettying up the house. Replacing the weeds in the back planters with actual plants, putting an aesthetically pleasing light fixture by the back door, you know the drill.

Well, one of our projects was to replace the kitchen faucet. The previous owners had installed (poorly, at that) a fancy Moen faucet that, while being fancy, is not exactly pleasing to the eye. Its a white monstrosity that lacks water pressure and leaks. So we decided it had to go. Yesterday Jamie went out and bought a far more elegant Price Pfister pfaucet (couldn’t resist).

In a misguided fit of enthusiasm, we then decided to install yesterday evening.

The instructions were simple, as instructions always are. Turn off water. Remove old faucet. Put new faucet in holes in sink. Hook up water lines. Turn water back on.

Friends, let me tell you that the reality was far, far worse.

The water lines were all but welded onto the faucet connections, and there was a decided lack of space to get any tools to them in any useful fashion. But we got them undone, eventually. Then came the fun part.

The faucet just wouldn’t come out. There was this iron collar holding the faucet to the sink. Iron. In the presence of water. We had to wear safety glasses to avoid bits of rust from dropping in our eyes as we both tried in vain to loosen the evil nuts holding this collar in place. When they could not, inspiration struck.

When I’m working on the Defender, and a bolt simply can not be done, I sometimes resort to just, well, cutting it off. And, I was thinking at the time, we just happen to have a cordless 18 volt Sawzall.

I think Jamie only agreed to the idea because I let her do the cutting. She got a rush out of it, I think. Destruction via power tools can be a nice release at times.

After the forceful removal of the stubborn Moen, we installed our new faucet with ease, turned it on, and saw it worked. Yea us!

Then we turned it off.

Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip.

In the process of trying to eradicate the leak, Jamie at one time pulled one of the knobs out while the water was on. Needless to say, I’m glad it wasn’t me. I’d have laid money that I would be the one to unleash a monsoon in the kitchen. But for once, it wasn’t me.

Two and a half hours after we began, we had a nice, leak-free, non-sucking faucet installed. It was supposed to take half an hour.

But hey, we got to break out the Sawzall.

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