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Chinese Water Torture

April 8, 2004

So Smith is a puppy. He is not fully potty trained. Fine. I expect that.

Yet there is something cruel about this new habit. He’s taken to leaving me presents in his cage, which he announces by barking loudly at about 5:45. Now, not only is staring down this kind of thing a very unpleasant first activity of the day, but I think my alarm clock is set early enough. I’d at least like to sleep until it, okay? Maybe hit the snooze button?

I wouldn’t get so worked up over it if it happened every one in awhile, but this is the third time this week. It’s Thursday. I’m starting to feel traumatized over my pre-dawn crap extraction duties. Smith barks, I’m up in a heartbeat, hissing out expletive after expletive while my sweet wife sleeps on. She would say “he’s just a puppy”.

Sad. I’ve even woken up a minute or two before Smith’s barking begins, waiting, gnawing at my fingers for it to at least begin, so I could get it over with. So I could fumble about in the dark trying to find some sandals or something I could put on to make the run out to our trash can more bearable.

I have even tried talking to him. Begging him to at least wait until 6:00 to start the fun. Or 6:15. That’d let me get up, maybe even begin sipping on a Diet Coke.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Kay permalink
    April 8, 2004 8:19 am

    Sounds like he might be eating or drinking too late. Do you make sure he goes out before you put him in his crate for the night? Also, since he’s a puppy is the crate too big at this time? If it’s something he’ll grow in to, you might need to partition it off for awhile.

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