Summer Movie Roundup

It’s been a decidedly mixed summer at the movies, but we’ve certainly been treated to some gems amid the crap (and some crap that, despite being crap, is still really fun).

So far, I’ve seen four movies that I will be buying when they release on Blu-ray. These four are, in my opinion, the highlights of the summer:

Star Trek

I’m still amazed at how well-done, well-acted, and fun this movie was. Despite a few convenient coincidences and a lackluster villain, this flick was everything I hoped it would be and more. As per usual for Star Trek, it’s the characters and the effortless chemistry among the cast that sold it. I managed to see it twice in theaters (rare with Nolan around), and will be revisiting it often on Blu-ray.

Up

With the perspective of a few months, and the exposure to A LOT of Pixar films at home, I don’t think I can say Up is their best, or even one of their best, but even an average showing for Pixar is still better than a good film from most other studios. And Dug the Dog may well be the best talking animal character ever created.

G.I. Joe

Wow. I had fantasically low expectations going into this movie. And for the most part, they were confirmed. It’s as retarded as retarded gets. But, to my pleasant surprise, it was also way more fun than it had any right to be. In a lot of ways, it reminded me of Sommers’ Mummy movies. You know they’re terrible, but when you want to get away from the daily cares and frustrations and just let your inner 10-year-old run free, they’re perfect.

District 9

I had the chance to see Neill Blomkamp’s directoral debut this afternoon, and while I don’t quite think it’s the sci-fi masterpiece so many are heralding it to be, I still loved it. Great movie, great plot, amazing directing and a very strong showing by totally unknown actors. What amazes me most, though, is how much Blomkamp was able to do with a mere $30 million. I don’t know if this find a place beside 2001, Aliens, etc as a sci-fi great for the ages, but I do think we will be looking back on it 25 years from now the way we look at Cameron’s Terminator, the out-of-nowhere debut from a new director that’s way better than it has any right to be.

10 Ways “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” Could Have Been Improved

Despite all the negative reviews, I actually enjoyed Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. It was a big, dumb, fun movie, but it certainly could have been improved upon. Here are ten ways I think Bay and co. could have made a better film:

10 – Slow Down the Fights

In the first Transformers, the fight scenes were often a jumbled whirlwind of spinning metal, shot in such a way that it was hard to tell what was going on. Revenge of the Fallen really improved on the first movie by pulling back and, you know, actually showing the robots fighting.

But it was still hard to tell what was going on because the fights moved too damn fast. Well, except for the Matrix-style super-slow-mo money shots.

If they’d just slowed the fights down by 15-20%, it would have been much easier to follow what was going on.

Robots in Disguise

Jamie and I are off to see Transformers 2 tonight.

Yeah, I know the reviews haven’t exactly been kind, but you know what? I don’t care. It’s Transformers. As long as there’s a truck that transforms into a giant robot voiced by Peter Cullen, I’ll be there.

That said, pretty much every review I’ve read has come down really hard on two new Autobots who somehow manage to grab a bunch of screentime – Skids and Mudflap. The most damning – and, based on the clips I’ve seen, the most apt – description of them is “Car Car Binks”. In other words, annoying, borderline racist, and absolutely unnecessary characters.

You know, for the kids.

But seriously, what the hell? What’s the deal with including annoying, retarded characters “for the kids”? I was a kid once. I grew up on a steady diet of Transformers, Voltron, He-Man and GI Joe. And my favorite characters weren’t the comic relief sidekicks. They were the badass heroes and the completely awesome villains.

Kids don’t watch Star Wars and come away hero-worshipping C-3PO. They come away making lightsaber sounds and flying imaginary X-Wings down the Death Star trench and trying to use the Force.

But let’s assume for a moment that it’s important to have some non-badass robots for the kids to gravitate toward. Why do they have to be Kevin Federline-bots? The Gen 1 Transformers universe (i.e. the original Transformers from the mid-80s) is stuffed with non-retarded Autobots that would have made completely fitting sidekicks to Bumblebee, Sam, and Mikaela. Let’s review, shall we?

Cliffjumper

Though his bio states he transformed into a Porsche 924 Turbo, I’ll always remember Cliffjumper as basically the “red Bumblebee”. He was small, scrappy, and rash. Oh and he said things like “Decepti-creeps”. He’s the Autobot that would always rush into a situation, often against orders, and subsequently get spanked, which I guess was sort of a morality play for six-year-olds about the importance of listening to Optimus Prime.

Warpath

Warpath was always one of my favorite lesser Autobots. First of all, he turnd into an M551 Sheridan light tank, which is awesome. Second, he was an overly excitable Autobot who spoke with a Texas drawl and had a tendency to blurt out crap like “KABLAAM!” in the middle of firefights. So, kind of like a George W Bush robot. Maybe he could give all the other Autobots stupid nicknames.

Grimlock

Ah, the Dinobots. They were like a perfect storm of awesomeness for a young boy. Transformers that turn into DINOSAURS. And their leader, Grimlock, started the whole trend of refering to oneself in the third person that Bob Dole and NBA players and rappers would capitalize on so well in the 90s. Of course, robots that transform into giant metal dinosaurs makes less sense than robots that transform into cars and trucks and planes and stuff, so I’m not really sure how Michael Bay could have shoehorned ol’ Grimmy in. Probably with explosions.

Hot Rod

Hot Rod would have actually been a brilliant choice as a sidekick in Revenge of the Fallen. He was one of the new Transformers introduced in the animated Transformers movie from 1986 (which killed off a bunch of characters to make room for new ones…and their toys…and in so doing seared Transformers into the consciousness of a generation of boys with the death of Optimus Prime), and basically played the archetypal young punk who wants to be awesome but sucks, but then has adventures and proves himself and becomes the hero to the stirring lyrics of The Touch by Stan Bush:

Damnit, Now I REALLY Want a Mac Mini

I love my AppleTV. Or, rather, I love the idea of my AppleTV. The idea of being able to stream movies and TV shows from some external drive buried on the far side of the house straight to the living room…awesome.

And for the most part, the AppleTV does the job. But it has it’s share of shortcomings all the same. The lack of horsepower to adequately run Boxee, for instance. Or the ridiculously fickle support for video formats (which my recent hacking has improved…somewhat). Or the fact that it has to stream through another computer that’s running iTunes, which in my house means I need two computers up and running if I want to watch something – one running iTunes and the other doing file server duty.

It’s occurred to me in the past that the Mac Mini would be the ideal solution to all of the AppleTV’s shortcomings, for a variety of reasons:

1. Local Storage – Even the lowest-spec Mac Mini has a pretty decent hard drive, and with USB drives the sky is pretty much the limit. With the drives I already have on hand, I could have over 1TB of storage without the hassle of having to stream over Wi-Fi (which would have the side benefit of letting me export shows from the TiVo at much higher quality levels).
2. Horsepower - The AppleTV runs on a 1GHz Pentium M processor and 256MB of RAM. No wonder it can be such a dog. A Mac Mini with a 2GHz Core 2 Duo and 2GB of RAM would more than blow it out of the water, making apps like Boxee actually useful.
3. Native iTunes – If you want to stream over the AppleTV, the host computer has to a) be on and b) have iTunes running. With the Mac Mini, that wouldn’t be an issue. It could be managed directly, and attached storage would clear up any streaming headaches.
4. Format Support – Even with my handy Video Converter app, there’s no guarantee that anything not actually purchased off iTunes will play over the AppleTV. The Mac Mini would offer much greater flexibility in which video formats it could play. Again, fewer headaches.
5. A Keyboard – The most annoying thing about the AppleTV? When it drops wireless and you have to go back in and reenter your network password with the damn remote. This simply wouldn’t be an issue with the keyboard-supporting Mac Mini.
6. More than just Music & Video – The Mac Mini is an honest-to-goodness Mac, and as such can do a lot more than just play stuff. Think web browsing, e-mail-checking, Pandora-playing goodness.

But today, I learned about yet another reason…the new Hulu Desktop app, which packages Hulu in a pretty full-screen wrapper than you can navigate with the Apple Remote (or in my case, a Logitech Harmony acting like an Apple Remote). This in essence means the realization of what Boxee has been trying to do for the last several months – bring the awesomeness of Hulu to the TV.

It’s not that the AppleTV is bad…it’s that a Mac Mini would just be so much more…capable.

Snake Eyes…

Did you know Stephen Sommers (the guy who directed The Mummy and The Mummy Returns) is making a G.I. Joe movie? If not, now you do.

I’m not sure what to think. On the one hand…Stephen Sommers? On the other, the G.I. Joe was pretty heavy on the cheese, so maybe the guy who directed a quipping Brendan Frasier wouldn’t be such a bad idea. Still, I can’t help but cringe at the notion of a fun, cheeseball movie about an elite military unit that goes after ARMS DEALERS AND TERRORISTS. You know. Given the state of world affairs and all.

Who am I kidding? I’ll probably see it anyway come 2009.

Early casting has been mixed. I mean…Marlon Wayans and Channing Tatum? Seriously? But the suck is balanced out with some good choices, including Christopher Eccleston as Destro, Arnold Vosloo (Imhotep himself!) as Zartan, the dude who played Mr. Ecko on LOST as Heavy Duty, and Ray Park (Darth Maul) as everyone’s favorite blind and mute ninja-commando-fashionista, Snake Eyes. And for some reason Joseph Goron-Levitt has been cast as Cobra Commander. I’m assuming it has to do with the nasally, high-pitched voice, because otherwise, WTF?

There hasn’t been too much out there about the film yet, but today I opened up my browser and, lo and behold, it’s frakkin’ Snake Eyes!

How cool is that? It’s like they ripped him right out of the cartoon, right down to the wrist cuffs.